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Am I a Bad Friend or Just a Guy?

March 7, 2016

On break, I hit the Discover command on WordPress and wound up reading a post about friends and how let down the author was. She had cultivated many friendships, pouring time and tears into each of them, then when she needed a shoulder, they all abandoned her.

As I guy, I don’t get this. This woman seemed to want to be the sun around which many planet-friends were locked in gravimetric bondage. She had given her light, so they, in turn must give their… okay, the metaphor breaks down, because planets don’t give light, but that’s what she wanted from them.

I don’t view friendship this way. Instead, Jesus is the sun, and we people are rogue planets and comets. We are governed still, by the gravity of the Son (see what I did there?), but they are eccentric orbits.  In traditional planetary systems, the planets revolve in a consistent relationship around the sun.

We rogue planets, on the other hand, swing wildly around the galaxy, always circling the sun, but not always in relationship with other planets. It is fortunate for me that my rogue planet has permanently snagged another rogue planet named Lynette, with three little moons who will go rogue very soon, so we always do our dance together, but everyone else? Temporary at best.

OK, enough with the metaphor.  I have friends. Many of them. On this coast, on other coasts, and the simple truth is, I don’t expect anything from them other than a pleasant visit when we spend time together. You need to dump? OK. If you do, that doesn’t mean you must listen to me dump. If you want to, cool, but there’s no obligation. Don’t feel like hanging? That’s OK, too.

I know without a doubt that I have many people I can always count on, and I am blessed to have them. But that’s their character, not the demand of friendship. That’s my character, too.

The biggest difference between me and that anonymous blogger is that I enjoy time by myself. Perhaps, not so good, if I’m in a bad way, I demand time by myself.  I get squirrely after a while if Lynette isn’t around, and I miss my kids when they’re off living their life. But no one other than Lynette owes me their time.

Friendship isn’t like gravity. There are no have-to, no chains, no demands. It’s all get-to, blessings, and gratitude. It has been my experience as a rogue planet, that when I’m in need, that great, beautiful Son swings someone around to help, or pulls me close to himself.

And I’m just as happy when our planetary paths bring us to our mutual LaGrange point and we travel for a while. Friendship is nice when it’s not contracted.

One Comment leave one →
  1. March 7, 2016 5:30 pm

    Boy, that chick is in bad shape. To have so many friends that let you down and then to post about it anonymously, well, that’s just sad. Obviously she needs to rethink her definition of friendship and learn how to be one herself.

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