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SPAM Tsunami

September 15, 2014

Spam – awful stuff. Except when camping. Somehow, camping makes even awful stuff good. Which is probably why I don’t go camping anymore…

I normally get about a 100 emails a day to my main account. Maybe 85 of them are spam.  It comes in cycles; 100 on average, but lately it’s doubled and on certain days tripled.  And that’s just what gets through; my Spam folder gets up to 900 a day.

Most are easy to recognize as Spam.  $100K jobs with eBay, Facebook and Google are easy deletes.  So are the herpes cures (I’ve never had and never will have herpes or any other STD), the Nigerian scams (I particularly enjoyed the Irish scam written in fractured Asian-English), the background checks notifications, and offers for Russian/Asian/Scandinavian brides or late-night hook-ups with lonely divorcees. Press DELETE.

Of less obvious spam-ishness are the emails proclaiming I have unclaimed royalty payments.  I do have royalty income, so I have to check these; normally they’re bogus, but once it was actually an Amazon royalty payment that couldn’t be sent. I worry about missing something important.

Another category is not really Spam since I enrolled for them.  Some restaurants are very courteous.  Melting Pot and Texas Steakhouse don’t send more than once a month; Jersey Mike’s sends them often.  I also subscribe to some blogs; the business ones I tend to skip over for someday when I have time.  Bonnie Anderson’s is my favorite blog, but it seems infrequent these days (hint!).  I don’t think I’ve actually read a Michael Hyatt post in quite a while.

Of little interest to anyone, I’m sure, but I subscribe to blogs under a couple conditions: They’re always good (Bonnie’s or my daughter’s), business blogs that I think will be helpful, but mostly aren’t, and people I disagree with, but who write well.  I don’t subscribe to Matt Walsh’s blog (we’re friends on Facebook, so I get a notice there), or people like him, because I agree with him most of the time.  Instead, I subscribe to people who challenge my views plausibly (there are a lot of people I find completely obnoxious from a dubious viewpoint that is tiresome, not the intellectual bastion of light they think they are).

And so my email is full.  I have to say, I’m thrilled about email on my phone, enabling me to delete spam as it comes in.  Before, I’d get home and spend way too long wading through it all.

There are people who sincerely Spam you, hoping to sell an item of quality.  There are a lot of identity theft scams coming in, and virus propagators, who should go to jail or Hell, either is fine.

OH! I got a Spam phone call the other day.  Her accent was far too thick to understand very well, my Asian accent interpretation being poor over the phone.  After a dozen tries, this sweet voice said I’d broken the law on the Internet and needed to pay a fine.  I admit to being more rude to another human being than I’ve ever been (my daughters are saying, no way, Dad, we’ve seen you really rude; no it was worse than that).  So much so I felt bad after hanging up (cellphones cannot be slammed down, which is something old-fashioned phones still have going for them).  My Internet forays are dull, consisting of blogs, Amazon, Wikipedia and a couple conspiracy sites.  No law breaking for me; I’m much too boring for that.

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