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Watch Swanstuff Go Up in a Puff of Smoke (re: Rant)

April 10, 2014

Smokers confuse me.

Smoking cigarettes causes cancer.  Really causes cancer.  As in, the only way you DON’T get cancer is if you get hit by a bus or one of the other diseases you can get from smoking kills you before the cancer does.  They also make you smell.  And at the same time prevent you from smelling (at least my Dad said a whole world of scent and taste opened up after he quit smoking).  It gives you bad breath, which is a lot like smelling, but you know, ALL the kinds of smelling bad comes from smoking.

It’s also expensive.  Like really expensive.

You might as well stamp STUPID on your forehead, because I can’t be the only one who thinks you have to be brain-dead to light up.  Oh, I might not say it to your face (probably because I’m holding my breath), but yes, if you have a burning weed between your lips, I’m thinking as loud as I can, YOU’RE STUPID!

I get that it gives you a rush.  So does coffee. And it’s cheaper.

I get the whole addiction thing, too.  I chew my finger nails.  It’s an irresistible compulsion.  But I’d quit if it was GOING TO KILL ME!  I’d put plastic wrap around them or something.  Paint them with essence of ipecac.  I’d stop.

Because you can’t get cancer fast enough…

I also get that other things MIGHT give you cancer.  Soda’s bad for you.  Cell phones
may lead to cancer.

Notice the word “may.”  If I knew, without a doubt, that drinking the fizzy brown stuff was GOING TO KILL ME, I’d stop.  Cold turkey. 

My bad: There’s a movie, I don’t remember which one, where a guy lights up a cigar and drags on it in a close up with the sound of crackling, burning weed.  I love that.  Sounded cool.  It isn’t though, because cigars cause cancer too and probably lead to cigarettes and dancing and stuff.

I also hate those anti-smoking commercials that try to gross out smokers.  Well, it works, and I’m not even a smoker.  So I’d rather not be subjected to them, because they’re gross and I don’t smoke. 

So stop already.

One Comment leave one →
  1. April 11, 2014 9:35 am

    I’m in agreement with you here. I have also found that my respect level for smokers goes down. I am thinking that is not good, I’m prejudging them on this one habit, but there you go. I find it especially challenging when I see people in health care smoking. It makes me want to shake somebody. (Just thought I’d add a little of my rant to yours.)

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