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I’m Not Really OCD

December 9, 2012

It seems fashionable to claim light OCD when you find yourself performing rituals or acts of near-compulsive orderliness.  For perhaps the first time in my life I’m a fashionista.

I don’t really have OCD.  It’s true I don’t like my food touching and when I see an add for one of KFC’s “bowl” menu items I shiver with revulsion.  But I’m not obsessive about it.  Much.  I try to be sensitive to people who truly are captive to this disorder, yet I recognize that OCD is on the autism spectrum and that if it IS a spectrum then we’re all on it, hopefully to the far right.

But certain things make me drift closer to the OCD center.  You see, I don’t only compartmentalize my food, I compartmentalize my emotions.  While Christmas used to be a festive time for me, since my Mom’s passing, it’s painful… or it would be if I didn’t compartmentalize it.  Problem is, when that’s compartmentalized, so is are a lot of other emotions.

And I become sensitive to mess, dirt and junkiness.  My dear, beloved daughter is sensitive to chewing sounds.  It drive this otherwise mild girl into pure cussed grumpiness.  That’s exactly what mess is to me.  I don’t particularly like who I become around Christmas (and I’m sure my family doesn’t like me much either), but the truth is I miss my Mom something fierce.  So either this house gets clean or I need to deal with that.   Or wait for the new year…

Old Lang Syne anyone?

One Comment leave one →
  1. December 10, 2012 8:54 am

    Christmas is difficult for a lot of people. I hope sharing how you miss your mom helps you get through it in a more friendly fashion. Now go clean your house and kiss your family.

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