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More Facebook Fodder

June 17, 2012

 

Sometimes Facebook exchanges make good grist for the blog mill.  To wit: a friend posted “Hate is Taught” which is a nice “co-exist” aphorism, but how true is it?  It suggests that love is not taught, but is natural (that is, that if one is not taught to hate, love is there to bloom).

Certainly, specific hatreds can and are taught, but is it our default-state love?  No, quite the opposite, our default-state is to, in essence, hate.

There’s nothing as loving as a baby, right?  Baby’s give and desire love freely.

No, not so much.  Babies require nurturing because without it they will become anxious and fearful.  The root of hatred is fear.  A baby isn’t mature enough to find a target for fear, but as it ages, the fear will attach to the object of fear, and hatred will be spawned.  On the other hand, a baby that is nurtured well will not know fear.  But still, as the child ages, the good parent does NOT provide everything the child wants and the child’s selfishness will cause acting out (like banging his head against the wall until he gets what he wants or is restrained). Without further nurturing, that selfishness will become anger and hatred (“I hate you, mommy!”) which is quicker than a summer rain… unless the parenting is insufficient and then hatred will linger.

We like to think love is easily taught, but it isn’t.  We would hope hatred is more difficult to teach, but it isn’t.  We already lean in the direction of selfishness, fear and hatred; leaning toward love is hard work.

We from good homes might find that hard to accept.  We are taught manners and moderate thought from birth.  Still, how easy it is to turn.  I recall in 2nd grade, a new kid came to our school and decided the boys should form gangs and have battles at lunch.  It wasn’t a tough sell, we all readily agreed.  I don’t recall how we were divided up; I just remember prowling the hill of the playground throwing the rival gang kids off.  Truthfully, when the teachers finally stepped in, it wasn’t too difficult to get us to knock it off, but those gang affiliations stayed with us the rest of grade school.  Nothing overt, but we knew who belong to which gang and who didn’t.  It was far easier to talk us into it than out of it, though.

I like to think hatred cooks out with maturity.  With a wider perspective, fear of “the other” fades away and we let go of childish things.  But consider how easy it is for even Christians, who have the best example of love ever shown, find it easy to hate the sinner and not just the sin (I really do need to draw a line between what people actually portray and what the media makes them out to portray, though.  Many of the media-exposed Christians with a rep for hatred really aren’t haters.  Rev. Falwell wasn’t the monster the media portrayed, for example; meanwhile, Fred Phelps is).

And we’d be surprised by who were KKK’ers at one time.  Ironically, today the greatest haters are those hating in the name of “tolerance.”  I’ve been called the most amazingly vile things by people who make assumptions when they find out I’m a Christian, even though I strive for grace in all circumstances.  Worse are the abuses to my sidewalk counseling friends who preach at the abortion mills.  They speak for the unborn, but not in nasty or harsh ways (I’m sure some do, but not the people I’m speaking of).  But they’ve been spit on, sworn at, threatened and treated in the most horrid of ways.

There are examples on both sides, of course.  It’s amazing how anonymity on the Internet bring out the nasties in posters from each side of an issue.

Hatred is easy; love is hard.

 

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