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21 Years of Blissful Marriage

February 15, 2012

“Blissful” of course is open to interpretation.  I suppose if your expectations of marriage are a ferris wheel of romantic idealism where each day the birds sing and puppies frolic, then blissful is the wrong word.

Fortunately, that isn’t my expectation.  It might have been the first week, but reality breaks that into little pieces with a stainless steel hammer in no time.

Truthfully I think most expectations aren’t conscious; they lurk beneath the waters of the subconscious like ravenous sharks waiting for bliss to go wading.  Only a few of those linger after 21 years and if we’re careful we can avoid them.

What I hoped for in marriage was a pale flower against the forest of wonder that it has been.  I hoped for happiness, that ephemeral film that just floats on the surface of satisfaction.  What I got was so much more.

A loner most of my life, I’d gotten used to relying on myself for most things (or pretending I did).  To suddenly have a partner in life who didn’t always cover what I wanted but has always been faithful to cover what I needed (and didn’t know I needed) was an epiphany… and sometimes frustrating… and annoying… and painful.

My wife is the ultimate accountability partner; she doesn’t even have to say anything, she makes me want to do better, makes my sin hurt more.  When she does call me on something, she’s gracious enough to wait for me to realize she’s right (she’s always right), sometimes for days.

She is also my best comforter.  She never exults in being right (even though she always is), and she soothes me when I finally get it and feel crummy for doubting her.

She is the ultimate friend, willing to talk and listen to almost any of the wacky things I come up with.  I’d rather spend time with her than anyone else.

She’s a whole lot of other things, too, but that’s none of your business :).

“Blissful”?  You bet.


3 Comments leave one →
  1. February 16, 2012 10:19 am

    Congratulations on 21 years, and I wish you many more. Sounds like you found yourself a good match, which is always a beautiful thing. We’re only hitting 10 years this year, so we have a ways to go yet! 🙂

  2. February 21, 2012 11:24 am

    What a sweet tribute to your lovely wife! Congratulations on your anniversary – the celebration of life with your ultimate friend. I love it! You are blessed.


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