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My Perfect Job

September 2, 2011

When one is engaged in a search for employment, almost always one must settle. What job could hold all the different aspects of employment you wield? Few, if any, and therefore you must, generally, figure out your most marketable skill or two and aim for that.

Still, what a wonderful thought experiment to figure out your ideal job. Or jobs. Here’s my list of what that job would entail:

* Creativity. Considering my best bet is technical writing, this isn’t likely to be fulfilled.

* Very little bureaucracy: my second most likely is instructional design, which has more creativity but is MIRED in bureaucracy.

* Variety. I get bored easily. Almost every job I’ve had was boring except for those that kept me so busy I didn’t have time to be bored (actually, boredom is my chief nemesis. School was interminable. I love to learn but not. at. a. snail’s. pace. [gratuitous comic book reference: The Flash is a super-speedster. Running is his thing and when you run at the speed of light, you gotta think fast. For him, hang-time (being suspended in air) is a fate worse than death. I understand this. For me, FWTD is anything in audio because I think faster than I hear, and when the speaker repeats himself to emphasis his point, ARRRG, I got it the first time!])

* Casual dress. Ties are stupid and dress clothes are uncomfortable and uncomfortable stifles productivity. I’ve heard people say if you dress up you feel special. I just feel stupid because no matter how the clothes look, it’s oatmeal underneath.

* Human interaction. This is contradictory because, as I said, I get bored easily, and people love to waste time. Then I realized I actually do like conversing with people, but not on the phone. Which probably means I’m fascinated by body language and expression more than words.

* No selling. That may be unpatriotic, since capitalism requires things to be sold. The truth is, though, I feel like I’m imposing on people and not treating them the way I’d prefer to be treated. So, supporting salespeople? Yup, that works.

* Close. That boredom thing again. Commuting sucks.

* Well-paying. I’m still waiting for this.

So really, the two most fascinating jobs for me would be:

1) The go-to writing/creative guy in a start-up company manufacturing or selling something cool. You know, like Apple when it started out. Just me and couple cool guys with great ideas. One would be the infrastructure guy, the other a sales guy, and me keeping everything stitched together. Preferably one of them is rich and generous. I’ve sort of had that before, but the guys weren’t cool, the environment was toxic, and the product was important but not cool.


2. Working in the movie biz, not as a director, maybe as a writer, but also as a creative assistant. A go-fer. Those actually exist in independent productions. Be great if it was a Christian script with a decent budget. Greater if it was one of my Christian scripts with a big budget. In other words, a great director, great cinematographer, and great actors. And me. Maybe an acting director/coach.

Sadly, I must make a living, so it’s probably technical writer or instructional designer somewhere in a biggish company with a good product or service.

And hopefully soon.

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